Hi.

It has been awhile since my last tweet. Wanted to stop tweeting until NS end, the reason I shall keep as secret. How are you guys recently? Anything that I missed? I hope no. That night, there's a circle surrounded the moon. My friends and I sat at the road in front of our dorm, stared at the sky & sang Talking To The Moon. Doesn't this sounds familiar? Like the night at Langkawi beach. I made a wish, simple but sincere. Life in the camp is tiring, and sometimes jurulatih there are driving us mad. They scold without reason, blame without asking what happened. Nevertheless, we still had fun. We believe it will be more fun when we start outdoor activities like jungle tracking & etc etc. Louis a.k.a the most popular boy in the camp texted my friend, ST. Never thought that he's such a lala boy, tsk tsk. Ohya, met a new friend, named iPhone because he brought his iPhone to the camp. I don't know his name & he don't know mine either, I liked that. Cool. He's nice but very gay, hahahah! Everyone says that I grew up, honestly I also felt that I grew up. HEHE EngHwa said she felt it through the way I talk. I'm happy for that, he's quite the reason why I changed. Nevertheless, I liked the changes. My friend says I'm more likable now, hoho! Last Sunday Xue came to visit me ♥! Was shocked when I saw her, my dad never tells me he's bringing her. I don't know what to say but I hope she knows I love her so much. MUST hangout very often with her & Jun after NS :) My mom brought me a luggage that filled with snacks & a bag filled with instant noodles. HEHE! Was touched when i received Fuji's text, asking me that I die already or not, hahah! Much appreciated. After all, I still miss that boy sometimes. That day when I play sudoku on newspaper, it reminds me of him. HEHE! I'm trying hard, still. BYE BYE :)

What happened these few days.

4th January,
Woke up in the morning and prepared everything. When I was about to leave, Xue came. We had our breakfast at a restaurant near my house, then we started to go to Kajang. Xue gave me a box of m&m that she bought from US :') Looked delicious. Reached there at around 9, when we were registering, Joey a.k.a. my brother's friend's girlfriend who are going to the same campsite with me came and introduce me some new friends. After the registration, we went to the place where all the buses parked at, was about to cry when I said goodbye to Xue. Got into but bus and met my primary school crush, I wondered if he recognized me. Xue stood in front of the bus until the bus was about to leave, that's really touching. People in the bus was jealous that I have a best friend like this ;) Called Jun & YeeLing to say goodbye. When I was on phone with JunMing, I told him that I wanted to call xxx so badly, that I wanted to listen to his voice for the very last time. JunMing said it's okay to call since it's the last time. So I called, said hello & he said hi. Repeated for a few times & we chatted for few minutes. I already forgot what we said, but I was really happy that time :') CHEAP ME ._. Reached the camp but they didn't take away my phone, met many new friends. Lined up to get our clothes & shoes, 8 shirts, 6 pants, 3 pair of shoes & those belt socks etc etc. Carried them all the way from the store room to the dorm, damn heavy :( Met a very slim girl that couldn't be able to carry those things back, helped her to carry it but until half a boy asked me if I can carry all those thing & he wanted to help, hahah nice boy! Texted with Ying, JunMing & also xxx at night. I cried when JunMing called, I missed everyone. Texted xxx after that, told him that I missed him very much and he got angry, lol.

5th January,
Woke up to a message from him, telling me that 70 days only, very fast one. With smileys ☺☺ Was happy for the whole morning because of the message, heheeh although it's very short. Texted with Fuji in the night, asked him how many days his cousin took to go home by crying, but he refused to answer, bad friend :( Ying called in the midnight, chatted a lot, I was touched hehe.

6th January,
The day to give back my phone, forced myself not to text him, PRIDE PRIDE PRIDE! JunMing everyday also repeat that girl must have pride. Cried when I called my mom & told her that they're taking away my phone already :'( No matter how many times I called my mom, I would cry when I heard her voice. I'd never love her this much, leaving her for two and a half month.

8th January,
A new boy came into our camp, a tall handsome athlete. He was late because he was travelling in Taiwan for the past few days. && he lives at Ampang, near klcc. I'm not a stalker, someone told me these.. He was the tallest in his dorm, every time when we have to line up according to our dorm, people can spot him easily ;) Oh ya! He's in the same dorm with Fidauz, who's that? A mixed malay boy, he's white & blonde! He looked exactly like a foreigner. (Y)

9th January,
A boy came and talked to me, for the second time. I asked him "Honestly, do I know you?" Hahahah sad! An indian boy called me Jacky -.- Had fun here with my new friends, gossiping, chit-chating & laughing non-stop. Wanted to ask dad to get a letter from the hospital to leave this freaking place, but now I began to hesitate, what if I left and they had fun, I'll jealous. Hahahah complicated mind. Canlian said that we began to accept this place already, but we all refused to admit :3

10th January,
One of my dorm mate left because she has asthma. ST & I cried, although we weren't close with her but when she looked at us with the eyes that's full of tears, we just couldn't help but cried. She said she didn't want to go home & she liked this place. Hahahah we're jealous :( She left us a poem, couldn't understand it well because it's written in bm. At night, heavy rain. Thought about my comforter & cried, hahahah crazy.    
         

*****

                     

冲了个暖暖的热水澡, 觉得这一个星期发生的事情就好像梦一场.

冲了一个星期的冷水澡, 吃了一个星期难吃的食物, 哭了一个星期, 也疯了一个星期.

才一个星期, 却好像过了一年一样, 每天的生活都跟着时间表走, 唯一的乐趣就是和朋友们胡闹.

在营里空闲时会想很多, 想有些事情不愿发生却不得不接受, 有些人不可失去却不得不放手, 人生就是充斥着各种承受, 你不想承受的承受. 就像去国民服务营是我不愿意却又不得不接受的一样. 盈盈让我在这三个月努力地让自己进步, 我听了. 偶尔撑不下去时就会想想他, 然后继续加油. 三个月不见, 希望三个月后能让他刮目相看. 其实我很想知道, 他到底喜欢怎么样的女生, 怎样的我能让他更想念. 每次想念的时候忍住不找他, 不想让自己看起来过于卑微. 他们说这三个月是忘记他最好的机会. 记得有人告诉过我, 不要把第一个目标放太高, 因为那样就很难找到第二个了. 我放在第一位的那个男生, 高度学历运动家世样样都好. 总是会忍不住拿他来跟其他男生做比较, 而他又总是毫无疑问地获胜. 再这样下去就要单身久久了, 嘻嘻. 周杰伦有句歌词 “也许时间是一种解药, 也是我现在正服下的毒药.” 离开的这段时间, 可能忘记也可能更喜欢. 看吧, 忘得了就忘, 忘不了就继续喜欢呗. 朋友们, 期待吧, 我现在喜欢运动, 因为我要腹肌, 哈哈哈. 有腹肌的女生最美了 :)

           

I wonder how's 14 now.

              

Will be back after weekssS, stay tuned! 

I'm leaving for ns, tomorrow.

Was alone at home, this whole day. Thought about damn a lot, most of the thoughts were about the National Service thingy. I worried that I might can't adapt the environment there, worried that I might not like the food there. The MOST IMPORTANT is that I worried that I might can't make new friend there. Maybe I don't look like that, but I'm shy, to strangers. Other than that, I'm not a good one to be friend with, I knew that. I always talk nonsense, I like weird things, I get angry easily, I always rely on people, maybe a little bit dirty-minded & etc etc. Hey, thanks for being my friend & accepting me for who I am, always pamper me even though sometimes I'm really over. This kind of friend where to find oh. I'm trying to change now, don't worry I'm happy for the changing too. Will be more independent, not because of National Service but because I want to be a better person. It's time to grow up, I know I can't always stand behind you guys & wait for helps.

Kah Hoe,
Honestly, you're really a good guy. Don't give a shit about what people says, tall + muscular + rich + smart + handsome aren't equals to everything. I always ask EngHwa why I don't love you ah, such a nice boy to love, HAHAHA! Someday you'll find a girl who sees you as everything, just like how I sees him ;) Although you always "zat" me, but still you did what I asked you to do, when I needed your help, you never reject. You know what? 其实双鱼座体贴你真的有, 浪漫温柔就... HAHAH Remember the vegetable that I like arh, when I come back we go eat steamboat :) Should have know you earlier, when we started to be friend, already going to graduate :'( Never mind, we still have a lot of time in the future. Go Sunway please! Don't emo before I come back, maybe even if you did I also won't know, but don't. Why? I also don't know heh. I think will miss you inside the camp ehy, haiyo. Bye bye larh LAM :'( ❤
           
                     
14,
Thank god for letting me know you. Although we only began to talk to each other since the beginning of 2012, but we're so close now. We know each other's secrets & even feelings. We had been through so many things, sometimes maybe some really insane thing like the Chai Wen Yao thingy, sometimes maybe cold war, but until now we're still so close. Will miss you in the camp, but don't worry I took your photo with me so that I can see it when I miss you. Like pervert like that, hahah! Take good care of yourself, survive & come out as a strong woman, hohoho! Bye larh 14 ❤
             
           
Xue & Jun,
I can't imagine how my life would be without you guys, how can I survive. Like what I said on Christmas day, I love you guys. I really do. We had been friends since form 2, from naive to mature, from ugly to pretty, we all changed a lot. The changes are great. Like Jun can accept camwhore now, Xue less naive now & me became more independent, HEHEH. We had fights, cold wars but yet we're still best friends now. Every moments of three of us being together are really moments to cherish. Every surprises you guys planned for me I'll never forget. Will miss you guys very much inside the camp! Thank you guys for sending me to the campsite tomorrow, it's great you see you guys right before I go. I think I'll cry. See you guys tomorrow ❤
                   
               
SUPER'ians,
It's really good to know all of you, I never regret knowing anyone of you. Although you guys always ffk me & made me alone in the class :p We're together for years, thousands of days. We often eat together, laugh together, gossip together, scold people together & etc etc. You guys taught me so many things & were there for me when I got my heart broken, shed my tears when I cried like a baby. I know we can always hang out because we live near, wait me come back, I'll miss you guys. Bye bye larh. ❤
               
         
Friends,
Thank you so much for all the wishes you guys sent me, I'm sorry I can't write a long post for everyone due to my sleepiness. I can barely open my eyes now, it's 3.15 in the morning & I have to wake up at 7. So please forgive me. I really appreciated all of you & I'm thankful for having you guys as friends. BYE, will be back soon. ❤
             
             
Lastly, boy. I still really like you now. Wanted to hate you but too bad I couldn't do it. It's not that easy to forget someone you like, maybe someday I will over you. Goodbye ❤
                     

Loving him was red. ☺

Shouted his name after countdown. Actually my friend suggested me to shout his name at 11:59:59 and forget him the next second, the next year, but failed because we counted down at KLCC. There was crowded, everyone kept pushing, shouting, spraying fake snowflakes & etc etc. The fireworks were really beautiful, but the beauty of the fireworks only last for few seconds. Under the fireworks, I thought about him, so many thoughts. Everything comes to an end, just like liking him. I would have hold on if he never tells me that he doesn't like me. I bet he doesn't know that I changed a lot because of him, like really. I became more independent now, all of my friends said so. I remembered that when I said I wouldn't do housework, he told me that he would have scolded me if I was his sister. I began to do houseworks now. I even began to cook, HAH just some easy breakfast & dessert. Maybe it isn't a big deal for him and for many others. Nevertheless, for my close friends, it is. They could see it, they're quite surprised when they saw me doing things that I used to wait for people's help, eating foods that I used to hate. LESS RELY ;) He was too good to me. That's not the reason to blame also, there's boy who treats me much more better than he did, but I don't know why I fell for him. I fell hard, HAHAH. It hurts. Promised my friends that I would forget him after 2012. However, at 2am I told EngHwa I still can't forget and she asked me to get drunk and forget him when I wake up. That's cool, hahah so I did it. Asked JunMing should I confess for the very last time & JunMing said NO. JunMing always tells me that girl should have pride, that I shouldn't have confessed at the first place. Should have listened to JunMing's advice. Drank until 5am and finally I was drunk. Asked XueYi should I do what I did on the Christmas day & XueYi said NO too, so we went to bed. Slept until 3pm today, I kinda let go d. HEHEH but forget isn't an easy thing, will do it slowly. Planned not to meet him until I'm completely over him but I never thought that he would come back before I go for the National Service. It's going to be really awkward when I meet him. Should I just pretend like nothing happened and talk to him as usual? I tried so hard to forget about him, I'm afraid that all my efforts will be wasted when I meet him. Or maybe it's good to meet him for the last time, gonna leave town for 3 months and hopefully will get over him after that. Wish me lucks, people.